14th August 2015, Friday

How was my week.

It was the most dreadful and depressing week of my life.

Sometimes I feel envious of those who know what they want to do in their life and what they want to be because when I ask myself that question, I can never find an answer, then I end up feeling lost, so very lost.

When I think about it, I get angry, angry at school for not guiding us to be able to make this 'foreseeable but unforeseen' of making the biggest decision of our lives during high school. Maybe it would've been better if they let us take a few subjects of the courses we're going to encounter when the time comes for us to decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives instead of Maths, Science etc. Like how the hell is Science enough to determine whether we like studying Marine Biology and liking maths proves that you're interested in taking a Math degree course? I like Science but it doesn't mean I'll enjoy doing something which I only have so little knowledge about and then regretting it for the rest of my life. That's not the only problem, the amount of tuition fees we're succumbed to while studying in university cost so much, it gives us a second thought about changing courses, even if we know that's not we really want and I'm not talking about those rich kids that can change universities or courses whenever they feel like it and spend as much time as they want in school because they're not even a tinsy bit worried about how their parents are supporting them financially.

After the long and most dreaded moment of having the courage to tell the doctor who helped us register for university and even got me a scholarship, I spent a long time thinking about it, and I finally understand that in life, We learn, discover and our minds change. It's not about going into a course and straightaway knowing what you'll be in 5 years because you'll change, the way you think, the things you want, the places you want to be, everything changes. There's so many things we can do out there but we just don't know, and I realize that all we have to do is move on and pick up the pieces of puzzles that forms a picture of who we are.

NOW I just need to stop thinking how suckish Malaysian universities can be, maybe their not, maybe I'm just being so negative about, but we'll see. :)

To Becca in Australia and Yuan who is about to be in Shanghai, I really hope we keep in touch ah~ It gets so much easier to lose friends when everyone is scattered around the world. REMEMBER to update your blogs as I will update mine if you guys are curious about malaysian unis. hahhaha.

I'm always on whatsapp if you guys are going through any hard times just message me okay, because honestly in my life, there's only my family and then comes you guys. :)

It's been so long since I wrote something I'm surprised my English isn't that cacat yet hahahhaa.





Comments

  1. Aww chummie <3 <3 <3 Okay, I'll update as often as I can when I get there. HAHAAHA. Don't worry, I'm 98% confident that our friendship will last forever. I would never wanna lose you chum TT Love you always, Yuan.

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